I really need to accept that it’s going to be awhile before our life looks like how we want it to. Nice home, financial security and independence, a garden, a good job for Matthew, the ability to go on our own vacations and make the plans ourselves. We did things all wrong and kind of screwed ourselves so I need to accept that things are going to fall into place later rather then sooner. I really hope this trip we are trying to take for our five year anniversary falls into place. We have never gotten to go anywhere exciting together and on our own terms. I’ll be a little heart broken if it doesn’t work out.